2011-12-31

swagmancer: (far-flung hopes)
2011-12-31 02:17 pm
Entry tags:

On the illusion and shaping of reality.

(Note: This is a cross-post from my more public Wordpress blog.)

"You have a very active imagination."

That's what my dad said to me. We were sitting in the car (where we have most of our important conversations these days) on a rainy day, talking about my genderqueerness, and what my dad saw as the reasons I started identifying that way.

He was referring to the fact that I never grew out of playing pretend, and even as a child I took it very seriously. I put on a costume and I would become that costume. I would allow my outward appearance to transform my behavior. According to my father, my active imagination had led me to choose genderqueer as an identity I had wanted to put on. He wasn't saying there was no internal basis, but he was using my imagination as an excuse. In essence, he was saying that what I thought of as my Real Self wasn't 'really' real.

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